Essence of Life

Searching for the missing

Essence of life

I looked every where

Is there a meaning

In this emptiness

Why sun sets

Why the sea waves fall

Why stars shine

Only in dark

Why the scent of your smile

Floats away, every time

I try to hold on

In my cupped palms

I gather the grains of sand

Left by your foot prints

In my heart

I smell the sunsets

…and your shadow

About to drop

In the spray of salty breeze

All over my yearning heart

The ledge of sand still waits

Where you sat down to count

Countless stars

– Fencing the endless horizon

Of this dark night

All still there, waiting

Remembering and living your smile

There was so little space between us

Then

Now the ocean has filled the gap

As we sit across, in our desert spaces

Orion’s belt still shines bright

Every lonely night

With the star

You gave me as farewell gift

You know, I was there tonight too

Like every dark night

Looking for you

Essence of life

__________

ॐ नमः शिवाय

Om Namah Shivaya

Can I see you now

Desire to see you now

Is so heavy in my heart

That I can almost sink it in tears

__________________________

Om Namah Shivaya

Deep inside her I sleep

Deep inside her I sleep

_____

The sound reaching out to me from the sea

Is not what I desire

Or even want to hear

But still it reaches out to me

Through the open window

Of the high rise building, where I am enclosed in

And trying to live and close

But still the Window remains

A window out to the sea

That I can not close.

Even if I try hard or desire harder

As

The window glass that I broke

The other night

In frenzy of the remains of my desires

Unbroken, unfulfilled.

In the stupor of alcohol induced passion

And call of the stormy night

The window remains just a window

Nothing more and a lot less

Glassless, desire less and view less

To the open world.

Still I didn't hear the cry

Or the sound of waves

Pounding on the beach, few hundred yards away

Still I let my heart break into pieces

On the breakwater

That walks out

Few hundred yards deeper into the deep sea

And I see

The waves breaking against it

A break out from the prisons of earth

Out to the sea

Try as hard as waves might

Could not stop breakwater from moving in depth

And deeper still

Then Why still

All the time the Sea calls me?

Is it free from stopping, bonding and holding

The Breakwater free from breaking me?

Does it want me to come

Merge in her depths

Just like the path that sinks in her

After few meters of walking along, with me.

Or is it just a sign - an omen

Of my solitude

All alone

Like the sea

Even though Rivers, clouds and the horizon

Sink into her depths and be within.

Why? Why?

She is not with me, now

When she was with me

Long lives ago

("Long time" if you will!)

And she is not coming back to sink

Into my depths of desires, needs

Or in my intense pleasure

Or, my darling,

My watery grave with me.

_______________

ॐ नमः शिवाय

Om Namah Shivaya

Love, Lust and Desires to BE

Love, Lust and Desires to BE

________________

There is a thin line

Between love and lust

Between sea and sky

Between me and you

Such a fine line

That I can see

Touch it from

Here

(Enclosed in the high rise monster

That mostly dot the sea )

I am reaching out to be.

From here, I hear

-Silence is whispering to the sea

Waves percolating through the window

Where darkness of my erotic thoughts

Seep in through the night's gateway

A window with three glass frames

Barred, framed and up-curtained

Unveiled and naked.

From here I see

From here I can reach out

And tear them apart

The love and the lust

The entangled Sea in the sky

And cleave out

A divide between

With my desire

To BE

Some time I want to be - BE

Some times Sea in all its thrashing about

With waves and tsunami's just want to BE too

Some times the sky

With its dark cloud and their silver linings

Just wanna BE

Some times all of us want to

Reach out

Separate love from lust

And desire just to BE

Just to be in love

Pure, undiluted, undefined

Just Love

LOVE

Love to be

_____________

ॐ नमः शिवाय

Om Namah Shivaya

Burning Bridges...

Burning Bridges

________________

Sitting alone

Burning her bridges

Piece by rending piece

Even before my heart could smell

The acrid smoke of breaking

The bridge is down

Under the bridge

Heart tries hard to keep

The fire from going on hurting, flame by flame

Her face, turned away

In the flicker of the burning lights

Refuses the bits food that he feeds

His dying love, and dies at last.

Made of blood, as foolish as it sounds;

Memories drip, from my bleeding heart

And love cast her name, again and again

On the sands of time

Waves upon waves, sea in vain

Wipes the effort, again and again

Why do I write

Why do I write on the sands

Knowing it will be wiped out

In no time, but still I do

As I know she is oriented

Towards Sea - the sea of humanity and of love

His bridge still is not burned, while she has

Burned her bridges

Life times ago

________________

Om Namah Shivaya

Virtual

Unconditional Love

_____

I love you

Not because of you

But because of me

Not because of your beauty

But because I am beautiful

I love you

Not because you need my love

but because I need my loving you

I love you

Not because yesterday or day before yesterday

But from ages

From many life times

Your soul and mine

Loved not you or me

But each other's togetherness in the heart

Lived and died

On the banks of eternal river of various lives

On the clouds of moon lights

Among stars and its sunshine

Among the sea and its high tides

In each other's heart.

_______________

Om Namah Shivaya

Alone on the beach

She wanders

Walks

Move in and out of my thoughts

Like waves upon waves

That crash on the sandy beach

She weaves a cosmic dream

With her foot prints in my heart.

______________________

Om Namah Shivaya

Virtual

A Bridge Across Forever

She walks alone on the beach

Tidal waves, stormy sea

Me and my dreams

________________

Om Namah Shivaya

Virtual

Whispers

The valley silently

Unfolded herself

As you walked across

To sit beside me

And smile

-

The birds talked to

Tall and silent deodar trees

In their melody

And you reach out to

Hold my hands

-

Smiling through the distant stars

She leaned and rested on my shoulders

As the breeze sighed

And she whispered

I missed you

-

And I turned around

To find you

Far, far away

But

I still kissed her

_______________

Om Namah Shivaya

Virtual